a real boricua

Microphone check, one - two...sorry was that black? I've been accused of "acting black" whatever that means. This accusation took place during a chat session with an individual I hadn't met yet. Needless to say, I blocked him. Bamm! Holy ignoramus Batman! Robin, I will immobilize him with my batbelt stupidity blocker. Zap! "You would make a black man very happy. I'm going to look for a real boricua!", he further commented. Oops, double zap!! Take that you culturally insensitve *%#@^&(! I'm teaching a cultural sensitivity training for home attendants and I attempt to define some terms. Culture is the distinctive life/way of a people united by a common language and by rules and models for their beliefs and behavior. Cultural sensitivity is the ability to be open to learning about and accepting of different cultural groups. I was treated poorly because I am part of the hip-hop culture. I love many types of music and among them is rap music. It is a difficult spot I share with many which is being in between. Not accepted here not validated there. Place your check in the box marked other; wanting to be defined yet figuring out that you are undefinable. Mariposa said it the best in her poem titled Ode to Diasporican, "...what does it mean to be in between, what does it take to realize being Boricua is a state of mind, a state of heart, a state of soul. Mira! No naci en Puerto Rico, Puerto Rico nacio en mi..." What did he mean by a real Boricua? I could only feel sorrow for the narrow-mindedness of my fellow Puertorriqueno. I had to get past the shock of the fact that he judged me solely on my taste in music. Free your mind my brother! He told me about his best-friend who was murdered in a hip-hop club at the age of 16. Ah-ha, holy projection Batman. Low cultural sensitivity is associated with auhoritarian personalities and also with narrow and limited experience of the world. "...Mira mi cara puertorriquena, mi pelo vivo, mis manos morenas, mira a mi corazon que se llena de orgullo,y dime que no soy Boricua..." Call me what you wish but I will continue to be me, not a real boricua but simply real.

I FEEL LIFTED

live life abundantely!

You So Crazy!

"all i know is that I don't know anything", or something like that is the Socrates quote. As I grow older I long for wisdom but what has occurred is that I realize that I know very little. This augments my appetite for learning and adds a spirit of humility to my personality. I have learned so much working with the mentally ill and I let my clients know this every chance I get. There is a thin line between sanity and the insane. I have teetered at edge of that line and have seen many do the same. I'm not crazy, nope you're a crazy b*tch, uh-uh not I -- uuuuuuuu. My voices are hearing voices...they are saying.... why do you wait so long to recognize the qualities of your significant other? why do you want to hide and keep secret how much you are feeling someone else? why do people present themselves to be something that they are not and actually think that your true self will not eventually come through? why do people degrade and disrespect eachother when what is really going on is that they hate the person they are? why do we hold on to past hurts and don't seek to heal from these injuries?...as if holding on to the hurt will serve any purpose at all, let it go! My Mom at the age of 6 was given away by her Dad to a wealthy family and 63 years later she continues to suffer from this injustice. who pays for this? those closest to her and most of all it doesn't allow her to be free. what must we do to be free? I want to be free! Barbara, a part-time nurse who came to work with me taught me many things. Among them was to feel happy with being with me. She said I should do things I enjoy by myself and pay close attention to my feelings. Am I happy with the person I am? Can I tolerate being alone? She told me that if I can be happy with being by myself then I am ready to invite someone into my life. Taking time out for me would make me a better person. I realized while doing this that taking time for me made me feel that I didn't have to look for someone to complete me (ala Jerry Mcguire). Damn it, I'm a whole and therefore what I'm really looking for is someone to compliment me. My voices are hearing voices and I can't contain them, so I blog. What do you do to be free?